IS NOTHING EVER REALLY NOTHING?

Here I sit, by the pool in a garden paradise surrounded by exotic palm,ferns and greenery I don’t recognize. I am staying at Umbhaba Eco Lodge outside Hazyview in South Africa not far from Kruger National Park.  Listening to the unfamiliar enchanting birdsong, trickle of waterfall leading to the outdoor unheated pool, distant music unrecognizable yet soothing coming from reception area at the Lodge.  

Today is an optional day – part of GAdventures Kruger in Depth tour.  I have been part of three safari days and lots of driving and experiences since Johannesburg a week ago.  Today I select for quiet, apart from the group, to read, relax, recover, rest, dip leisurely in the pool and catch up to my life.

If anyone asks what I did today,I might reply with “nothing”. I slept in, woke up to the rhythm of my own knowing (not alarm), gathered some laundry to send out …. Had a hot gentle breakfast carefully prepared so that I can heal my glutened insides, with a cup or two of rooibus tea, fresh squeezed orange juice, lemon water to replenish my liquids. 

When on safari with 12 to 15 others, there is limited and unpredictable toilet stops, so I carefully calculate and limit liquid intake.  I must be careful and observant of others sharing the vehicle, duck and get out of the way of the serious photographers, listen to stories, be ever watchful for signs of animals as we are in their homeland, and we are here to observe that life.  Unfamiliar, at times uncomfortable and certainly unpredictable and exciting moments. The mind and body alert. 12 or more hours spent away from comfort for the purpose of this unusual enjoyment.

Nothingness today is to let down all these expectations and social appropriateness.  To have zero agenda for what seems like, unlimited hours on end … catching up on drinks of water, dipping in the pool, looking over recently taken photographs, listening without knowing, no attachment or opinion about stories.  Almost no internet connection, slightly intermittent at best.  Nothingness feels like self care, self attention, self kindness, even self indulgence.  

I have many more days coming of tours, travel, flights, taking-reviewing-posting photos,Re reading texts, enjoying tasty meals, navigating awkward moments, packing, unpacking, feeling disorganized and confused, hiking on unfamiliar and uneven landscape, listening to books on Audible, checking Facebook, looking for common ground and finding friendly kind connections, sunrises and sunsets, moon viewing in night skies, solo mindful moments and walks with others, open air vehicle safari, meaningful and trivial talks, managing heat in Africa, writing my thoughts to post on this blog, sending and receiving love and gratitude with dear family and friends back home and abroad, and other activities.  

Today, nothing seems like everything I need so I can keep doing the other things ever growing on my list …. 

Stay tuned

With love

Pamela in South Africa

3 comments on “IS NOTHING EVER REALLY NOTHING?

  1. Jan Manchur says:

    That was beautifully written, Pamela. Such an adventure, but hard going.

  2. Jan Norton says:

    Giving yourself permission. It’s the best thing ever. When I first met you, I wanted to connect on a deeper level, but you were travelling and I was introspecting…a lot …both. Loving your posts on this journey so very much, Pam!❤️

  3. Debra says:

    Love the pictures and your perspective. I appreciate your sentence: nothing seems like everything I need so I can keep doing the other things ever growing on my list ….

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